porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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