I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She said her name was "party"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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