i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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