I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
