I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
