she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
