if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
