you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
