Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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