If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
