Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
