I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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