fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
