Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
