I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
