i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
