just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
