Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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