I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
