saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to calm my uterus...
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