I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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