Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
