just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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