there was a trapeze. enough said
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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