Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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