I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize