I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
