Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
