I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
