Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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