The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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