So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
