I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
