you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
