You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
