My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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