I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
