Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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