she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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