FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
