I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i dont even know how to be here
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
