if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
