help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
In America we eat man semen.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
