I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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