my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
