so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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