He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
