Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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