Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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