shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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