If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize