So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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