is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
