he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
