i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
