So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
