I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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