I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
