you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
